


Cognitive Empathy

by pyjamatheif



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Cuddling & Snuggling, Logan Needs A Hug, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Ticcing, analogical - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22358362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyjamatheif/pseuds/pyjamatheif
Summary: logan has a big dumb and Virgil has a chance to be a smarty pants
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Logan Sanders - Relationship
Kudos: 46





	Cognitive Empathy

Logan’s eyes darted back and forth across Virgil’s face. How his face and hair were scrunched up against their shared pillow and taking in the small tics and twitches of his nose and eyelids as he pretended to be more exhausted than he really was. It was fascinating, how under the layers of his black eyeshadow, some barely noticeable freckles pattered themselves across his cheekbones. His sun-kissed skin a stark contrast to Logan’s own pale complexion. 

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘰𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. He thought to himself, chuckling softly. 

“What’s so funny?” Virgil said, his voice tired and eyes still closed. 

Logan raised his hand from under the blanket and brushed a thumb along Virgil’s cheek, relishing in how the other nuzzled slightly into the touch. Instead of answering the question, he leaned his forehead against his and released a resolute sigh. The persistent thoughts in his head started to resurface. The concept of his own feelings being something he never wanted to consider. It’s more important to keep them happy, pure logic doesn’t consider emotion. That was the harsh truth, and there was no running from it. He had always kept himself distant, knowing that if he let his own opinions and feelings interfere that it would be impossible to resolve any dilemma Thomas brought to their attention. 

“-gan? … Logan!” 

“I don’t understand.” He blurted, louder than he meant, causing the other to flinch under his fingers. Logan immediately recoiled, knowing that touch could make Virgil’s panic worse, he brought his hand up to rub at his temple, “Sorry! I apologize I did not mean to startle you, it’s just…” He trailed off, turning onto his back to stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. Everything past his arms reach blurring without his glasses on. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine,” Virgil said, he rubbed his sweating palms on the blanket before intertwining his fingers with Logan’s, “tell me what’s wrong.” There was an edge of concern in his voice, Logan could tell he was trying to reign in his fast-approaching nervousness.

He sighed again and turned back towards Virgil, briefly pausing to press a kiss against their connected fingers, “I don’t… understand how I feel.” 

“Mr. Know-it-all not understanding something? That’s wild.” Virgil commented in an attempt to add some levity to the situation. Logan playfully flicked him on the forehead before continuing.

“I mean that I can’t process the way I feel about” he gestured vaguely, “all of this. Compared to how you and the others can process emotions.” He tried to look anywhere but Virgil’s face, prepared for any sign of disapproval. Virgil only squeezed his hand tighter, an urge to keep speaking, “I’m the embodiment of logical thinking. I’m not supposed to function on emotion, like Roman or Patton. So, when I do start to have a strong reaction to something or someone, my mind… if I am right in my usage of metaphors, it becomes something akin to moths trapped inside a jar that’s too small. It feels almost like a physical sensation that slows my body but speeds up my brain, and I can’t understand why.”  
His eyes had closed without him realizing, the thoughts in his head bringing on a brand-new headache.

“Cognitive empathy.”

“… what?” 

“You’re telling me that you haven’t realized it yet?” Virgil released his hand and lifted himself up onto an elbow, leaning over Logan to reach the switch on the bedside lamp, he then shifted to sit cross-legged on the bed. His glasses were tapped lightly against his head, “get up here, nerd.” 

Logan was at a loss for words. He hesitantly moved to sit in front of Virgil, the dim golden light reflected off the remnants of purple dye in the others hair and he nearly swooned right then and there. A smile crept onto his face but immediately fell away again once he saw the look on Virgil’s face, “Virgil, I… If I’ve offended you I can promise you that I didn’t mean- “ 

“Empathy by thought” Virgil held his hand up to silence Logan’s apology, “you’re able to put yourself into other people’s shoes and put their issues into perspective. You, as a natural negotiator, can basically solve any problem. It’s a logical process, which isn’t a problem at all. But, with the inability to engage with – or understand – their emotions…it makes sense that anyone who experiences cognitive empathy would have a hard time processing their own issues in a way that benefits themselves. Aside from that, it honestly just sounds like you’re taking a page from my book.” Virgil scratched the side of his head then ran the same hand through his tangled hair, “You’re anxious about… us.”

Logan could see his fingers twitching from where they sat in his lap, “Virgil…” he softly laid his hand atop the others, “I need you to know that I love you. There are absolutely no second thoughts on my mind about this relationship” he picked up Virgil’s hand and help It between both of his own, “…but I think- … I know that you’re right. I just refused to acknowledge the problem, which I guess would appear uncharacteristic.” 

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t notice you’re, uhm… apprehension?” Virgil said. He looked down at their hands, tugging lightly until Logan let him go, he rubbed his hands off on his ripped purple t-shirt “sorry, sweaty hands” he explained. 

Logan shrugged and nodded, “I’ve been more worried…“ he laughed at himself, “I don’t want you to feel like I’m ‘leading you on’ because I am not able to,” he took a shaky breath, “express my emotions in the same way that you are able to towards me.” Everything he’d been reluctant to say was finally laid out in between them, no turning back. There was as sudden twitch in his neck, stress-induced ticcing that normally only happens while he’s confined in his own head, he grunted and shrugged his shoulders, breaths getting faster. 𝘉𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦! 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘓𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯! 

He felt Virgil’s cold hands on his own once more, and heard his soft voice ringing in his ears, “Hey, just take a deep breath… in and out…” he exaggerated his own breaths, coaching Logan through the attack in the same way Logan had done for him in the past, “in and out…”  
There was a long moment where they copied one another’s breaths, slowly easing back into a half-laying half-sitting position. Logan’s head was resting on Virgil’s lap with the others on his shoulder with his hand slowly rubbing up and down his side. The silence was comforting until it wasn’t. 

“Do you… do you feel like I’ve been leading you on?” he asked.

A kiss was pressed to his shoulder, “Of course not, Logan. You should know, of all sides, that I’m probably the one who understands how you feel the most” he scoffed, “y’know, someone once taught me that repression never works out in your favor. So, having a 3 a.m. panic session that leads to a better understanding of our feelings and our relationship? That’s a win in my book.”

That got an exhausted laugh out of Logan, and a genuine smile spread across his face


End file.
